Greetings respected Master, greetings respected fellow disciples. I would like to take this opportunity to share with everyone my cultivation experience while participating in the Tian Guo Marching Band

The Beginning

I'm a young practitioner from Croatia and have been cultivating for 4 years now. The first time I encountered the Tian Guo Marching Band was during a parade in my hometown. I still remember hearing the band warm up for the first time in a park before the parade, it sounded like thunder was echoing through the streets. The sound was very strong and inspiring, at the beginning I thought it was a special war song that is played before parades but I later learned it was just Akiyama (our standard warmup).

One of the most vivid memories I have during the parades in Croatia that year is the way I felt while distributing flyers on the main square in Zagreb. I felt like my body was light and free. I usually struggle when giving out flyers due to various issues in my character and will always be a bit anxious about what other people are thinking „am I annoying them?” etc. But with the band's music and the energy it carried there was no fear in my heart and I could freely talk to whoever I wanted and everyone took the flyers when I approached them. I was like my heart was free of bad things for a moment and my true, kind and confident nature could shine through.

After the parades finished I developed a wish to join the marching band. During one parade I asked the coordinator about wanting to join and after being tested I was assigned tenor saxophone. Although my wish was genuine there were also impure intentions. I had a very strong desire to prove myself and show off. I saw the marching band as the ”first in the parade” and liked the idea of myself being among the „first.” I practiced very hard and even though my intention was not completely righteous, Master saw the good part and still decided to give me great help. My music skill improved tremendously in a short amount of time and I was able to start playing our marching songs. After I attended the first workshop I was ecstatic and very excited. I thought to myself that it would be so great if I could play in the first parade of the year.

But no matter how much I practiced there were certain parts of the songs that I just could not play or I would always be short of breath and was unable to finish the song in one go. I never stopped to consider that it might be related to my state of mind. Endlessly I tried again and again but with no success. As the parade was approaching I talked with a veteran member of the band about this matter and he told me: „You know, maybe you shouldn't rush it. The band is really in need of a tenor saxophone, it would be no good if you came there and then just made mistakes in the parade. Better wait till you can play properly and then join. You need to be responsible to the band.” After that conversation I realized my issue and completely gave up the thought of playing in the first parade of that year. I continued practicing the songs and applied to join the parade as a new member. I decided to bring my saxophone along with me so I could practice with the band during rehearsals.

Master said in Zhuan Falun, Lecture 1: Why Doesn’t Your Gong Increase with Your Practice?:

„An everyday person cannot detect the existence of this characteristic, Zhen-Shan-Ren, in the universe, because everyday people are all on the same level. When you rise above the level of everyday people, you will be able to detect it. How do you detect it? All matter in the universe, including all substances that permeate the universe, are living beings with thinking minds, and all of them are forms of existence of the universe’s Fa at different levels. They do not let you ascend. Though you want to ascend, you cannot. They just do not let you move up. Why don’t they let you move up? It is because your xinxing has not improved. There are different criteria for every level. If you want to reach a higher level, you must abandon your ill thoughts and clean out your filthy things in order to assimilate to the requirements of the standard at that level. Only by doing so can you ascend.”

Because my heart really changed and my playing likewise improved, Master allowed me to play in the parade. The coordinator heard my playing during the rehearsals and said it was good enough for me to participate in the parade. My uniform was given to me on the same day and one member gave me his boots to wear even though it meant that he had to wear a smaller pair. I was deeply touched by everything and felt truly blessed.

Playing in the band

After properly joining the band and playing in a few parades I became a bit more confident in my skills, with that my pride and ego also started to emerge again. Due to my preconceived notions I had a strong desire to stand out and be in the spotlight. That would reflect itself in my playing as I would always try to play as loud as possible thinking that “the louder, the better.” The coordinator of the band is in front of my instrument section so he would often tell us to play softer but it took me a long time to realize that I needed to look at myself. Those attachments also manifested themselves in other areas. I would always be impatient when the speakers were talking for a longer time thinking „why is this taking so long, I want to play music!”. I would also often over analyze my music playing and constantly ask either my group leader or the coordinator how do I sound, am I playing something correctly etc. but deep down I never really cared about improving as much as I wanted to hear praise since I did it with an attachment to self and ego.

I also disliked when I played notes that were similar to the base instruments as I thought that they were no fun, just playing some beats and never the melody. I thought the most important instruments were the ones that stood out the most. At one point I learned that sometimes instruments have their solo parts in music and kept asking the coordinator what solos does my instrument have in our songs. He would always repeat to me the same sentence: “Borna, your instrument doesn't have a solo.” But I couldn't completely accept that and didn't believe him.

Master said in Zhuan Falun, Lecture 9: Inborn Quality:

“A person’s good or poor inborn quality can determine whether his enlightenment quality is good or poor. A person’s poor inborn quality can also make his enlightenment quality very poor. Why is this? It is because one with good inborn quality has a lot of the white substance that is assimilated to our universe and to the characteristic Zhen-Shan-Ren without any barrier. The characteristic of the universe can manifest directly in your body and be in immediate contact with your body. But black substance is just the opposite. As it is obtained by doing wrong deeds, it goes the opposite way from our universe’s characteristic. Therefore, this black substance becomes separated from the characteristic of our universe. When this black substance accumulates to a great amount, it will form a field surrounding one’s body and wrap one up inside. The larger the field, the higher its density and thickness, and this will make one’s enlightenment quality become worse. This is because one is unable to receive the universe’s characteristic of Zhen-Shan-Ren, as one has acquired the black substance by doing wrong deeds.”

During my second year of parades I started to change my mindset. As my selfishness decreased through cultivation I realized what is the actual purpose of my instrument, to harmonically support other instruments. It never has a solo part, as its main role is to make the sound of the instruments it is supporting, be they woodwinds or brass, sound more rich and beautiful. Once I accepted my role I started to play more softly and in unison with others. During one parade I remember that for the first time I heard the harmony we are supposed to make together and it sounded beautiful. There were times when my mind became really quiet and I could hear other instrument groups playing and how we all connect as an orchestra, Master let me experience the inner beauty of our musical arrangements. I also became much more attentive to other things during parades like being careful to send forth righteous thoughts during the speeches to support the speakers.

As my selfishness further decreased I came to understand how special each instrument in our band is. Every one of them has its unique characteristic and role, even if some on first glance don't seem like they are so important or have an interesting melody to play, when they all add up the beauty they create is far greater than anything one instrument could do by itself no matter how good it sounds. I found it similar to our practitioner body or human society in general, only when we play our given roles and support each other with respect and no selfishness can true “harmony” that has immense power be created.

There were also instances where I would feel anger or resentment towards my fellow band members. Most of the time that would manifest when I would hear someone playing wrong notes or not performing some action during the parade well. I would feel especially unbalanced in my heart when I would sense the tempo slowing down due to people not being able to keep up with the drum major while playing. I tried various methods to find a solution and sometimes spoke with other members about it, but it would always happen again.

Sometimes I would try to play faster to keep up with the drum major when I sensed we were slowing down and in my thoughts I intended to help the instrument section, but as I was doing it with too much attachment it never worked out and we wouldn't sound good. I could feel my body tense up when that happened and my mind was always very agitated, as opposed to how it should be - benevolent and full of compassion - when we try to help others.

It took me many times of experiencing this over and over again until I finally enlightened that the fundamental reason why I would always become so angry was again ego. On the surface it seemed to me like I cared about the quality of our performance and how the audience hears us but actually what bothered me was that it was uncomfortable for me to play like that and was annoying.

I also came to understand that the thoughts I was sending out at that moment were horrible. Looking at it from the perspective of my own body I thought about how it would be if my hand hated me, I would never get anything properly done and everything would be so hard. Applying the same principle to our band and seeing us as one body in other dimensions I must have created a lot of interference and made things much more difficult with my thoughts. After I corrected my mindset the instrument section played much better and even when we would slow down, we would much more easily return to the right tempo.

Two important lessons

Lastly I would like to share two very important lessons I learned this year.

I am involved with helping new members join the band. I saw at a certain time that we were a bit lacking in that aspect and decided that instead of complaining how something is not functioning properly I will help make it better. The many experiences were quite nice but there was also a negative one. A member was preparing to pass a test to join the upcoming parade, by that time the deadline for registration had already passes.

I was in communication with both the coordinator of the band so that the new member could send her recording to him as well as with the logistics team because she needed a room after the deadline was over. Due to a couple of unprofessional things I witnessed in the band and some comments about our quality, in a certain aspect I developed a bit of unseriousness in viewing the band. When instructing that new member I didn't thoroughly explain to her some things and didn’t set the necessary standards thinking that her instrument is easy and doesn't need too much work. So just to paint the picture, the three people I was in contact with – the coordinator, logistics team member and the new member were all investing their time into this interaction hoping to reach the result of the new member attending and playing in the parade.

But because of my negligence the new member did something incorrect in her practice that I did not make an effort to resolve. The coordinator couldn't let her pass the test because of that and she wasn't able to join the parade. Even though the logistics team member who was helping me put in significant effort to arrange the necessary accommodation in the hotel. I felt really ashamed when that happened but I decided that I would bear the responsibility of my actions and tried my best to fix the situation. Due to my lack of seriousness I wasted the time of three people and caused a lot of unnecessary hardship for them. Only in the process of writing this did I fully understand how a seemingly small mistake caused trouble for three different people and that none of this would have happened if from the beginning I viewed everything properly. But because I corrected my heart and was truly ready to take responsibility, Master resolved everything benevolently and even the extra accommodation was taken by another person.

The other lesson involves my attachment to comradery. I posted some pictures from one parade on my social media account and a fellow practitioner asked me if I could send her a picture I posted. The first picture that came to mind was of a couple of my fellow practitioners and me so I sent it to her, but however I would send the picture it would be formatted upside down. I tried to redo it a few times but just gave up at one point. Later the practitioner told me that she was in fact looking for a picture of the whole band in the parade and not just my fellow practitioners and me. I felt very very ashamed that my first instinct was to send that picture and not a picture of the band. I decided to look within and realized that even though I treat parades very seriously there was still an aspect of having a human heart in the matters of friendship and comradery. A part of me was always looking forward to going to the parades because I knew I would see my fellow practitioners that I am fond of and I would get to indulge my feelings of friendship. The reason why the picture was always upside down when I sent it is because my priorities were upside down.

Master said in Zhuan Falun, Lecture 7: Hospital Treatment and Qigong Treatment:

“If qigong hospitals are allowed to be set up in China and many great qigong masters come out to give treatments, what do you think this will be like? That will not be permitted, because they all maintain the state of ordinary human society. If qigong hospitals, qigong clinics, qigong health centers, and treatment resorts are established, the healing efficacy of qigong masters will drop significantly, and the results of the treatments will at once not be good. Why is it? Since they do this thing among everyday people, their Fa must be as high as that of everyday people. They have to stay at the same level as the state of everyday people. Their healing efficacy must be the same as that of a hospital. So their treatments do not work well, and they also need several so-called "therapy sessions" to heal an illness. It is usually this way.”

I realized that if a part of my heart still harbors human emotions when doing sacred things they will likewise drop to the ordinary people’s level and not have so much power in saving sentient beings. There is also one fellow practitioner in the US who told a mutual friend „Wow you guys have a lot of fun on those parades, the American band always looks so serious, like they really take their mission to heart.” I felt that was a hint for me to take my mission in the band more seriously and to put it above my own emotions and desires.

Now I don’t mean to say having friends is bad or that those feelings of comradery are wrong. I genuinely sometimes feel as if the band is a big family to me, both the younger and older members. When watching videos of Shen Yun dancers I always find it very nice how they treat each other as brothers and sisters among themselves. I came to understand that the important part is what lies behind those feelings of friendship, is it just human emotion or is it a deep respect and compassion for each other on our shared journey of Fa rectification and saving sentient beings? I think the essence of what we do is the most important part, not necessarily how the surface form presents itself.

Lastly I would like to thank Master for arranging this beautiful opportunity to help save sentient beings and all fellow practitioners who have supported me while participating in this project.

These are some of my cultivation experiences I had while in the marching band, the stated understandings are confined to my level. In case I have said something that is not in line with the Fa please correct me.