Taking Hardship as Joy
Greetings to my fellow practitioners,
The journey with the Tian Guo Marching Band has been a path of profound transformation and learning for me. Since joining in 2016, I have had experiences that have not only enhanced my musical skills, but also deepened my understanding of the Fa. I am eager to share some of these moments from the past years that have shaped me.
1. HOW I GOT STARTED
A practitioner in the band asked if I would like to join, as they were looking for new members. At first, I was excited, but also worried because I had no experience playing any instrument and didn't know which one would suit me. That practitioner offered to lend me a clarinet. I contacted the coordinator and asked if someone could teach me the basics. The clarinet group leader agreed to teach me. Within a few days, I had both a clarinet and a teacher. I knew this was the path Master had arranged for me to save sentient beings. My duty now was to learn and join the band as soon as possible.
2. Challenges in Learning a New Instrument
My group leader and I live in different countries, so we could only have online lessons through Skype. Learning to play the clarinet was not an easy task. It was difficult to make the correct tone and learn all the fingerings. Whenever I played a note from the music sheet, I had to look at the fingering chart. It felt like it would take me years to learn the clarinet. Thanks to her patience and encouragement, however, I made slow but steady progress.
Many times, I was about to give up because I lacked righteous thoughts. Negative thoughts would come to me, such as that I was not capable of playing, that there were other projects to join instead of the Tian Guo Marching Band, and that it was a waste of time to start something so difficult. I doubted myself and was not persistent in practicing. I even stopped playing for months, and it seemed impossible to start again. However, a turn of events occurred. I saw Master for the first time at the New York Fa Conference in 2016. I burst into tears when I saw him and did not want to part from him. When he was about to leave the stage, I begged in my heart, “Please go back Master, do not go, I still want to listen to you.” I was surprised when Master returned to the podium and said,
“Each time after a Fa conference, I always want to hear and see the news that you are doing better after the Fa conference.” (Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference).
This was a huge encouragement for me. I realized I had to pick up the clarinet again and promised myself not to give up, no matter what. From then on, I was determined to join the marching band and committed to practicing my instrument for one hour every day.
Master is always with me along the road. Whenever I slack off in practicing the clarinet, I have dreams where I miss the train to the destination, arrive late for the performance, or forget my uniform, or even the clarinet. These are all hints from Master to remind me to be more diligent in this project.
3. Cultivating Xinxing
The Tian Guo Marching Band provides a precious opportunity for me to save sentient beings and raise my xinxing.
Attachment to Comfort
At first, I didn't like staying in a shared room during band activities, and was annoyed if someone snored. I sometimes wished the time would pass more quickly so I could return to my comfortable room. I did not think that every parade was a valuable opportunity to save sentient beings and cultivate my xinxing. I used to check the name list to see who I would stay with, and felt worried if I didn’t know them. I especially didn’t like to stay with one practitioner, because she snored loudly. I hoped I wouldn’t have to stay in the same room as her again. However, we were arranged to be in the same room three times in a row. Nothing is a coincidence. As I reflected on my feelings of annoyance, I realised that it had exposed my attachment to comfort.
Gradually, I understand that every encounter with other practitioners was an opportunity to learn new things, make new friends, or raise my xinxing. I look at the bright side. When I stay with Chinese practitioners who don’t speak English, it is a chance to practise my Chinese. When I stay with someone who snores, I recite “Falun Dafa hao, Zhen Shan Ren hao,” and fall asleep quickly. When I am woken up early by a loud noise, I do the meditation exercise. Now, it is fine for me to stay with anyone, and I usually check the name list only upon arrival at the hotel.
I am a picky eater and refuse to eat certain foods. I carefully check the ingredients before eating. When the food was not good enough for me, I complained to myself. For example, “there is no salad,” “the food is too salty, too oily, or too sweet.” It was mentioned in a Minghui podcast that Master mostly ate instant noodles when traveling to spread the Fa in China, and he also didn’t waste any food.
Master said in Zhuan Falun lecture 7, “But in reality, it’s fine to eat anything as long as you aren’t attached to it and it’s just done to satisfy hunger.”
In retrospect, the attachment to good food comes from the attachment to comfort. My human thought was that I deserved a good meal after a long day. I felt ashamed that I
had thrown away half of the bread the Greek practitioners had made for the band last year. Local practitioners had put effort into preparing the food for the marching band. I should have appreciated it instead of complaining.
The attachment to comfort is also manifested in my avoidant attitude towards elderly Vietnamese practitioners. I had a prejudice towards elderly Vietnamese practitioners in general. In my eyes, they are very loud, talkative, and nosy. I was not only intimidated when they asked me personal questions, but also embarrassed by their behaviour. As a result, I somehow avoid them in most cases. However, as the number of Vietnamese practitioners in the band increases, I have to interact with them more. Little by little, I started to see the positive side of them.
Contrary to my judgment, they are very caring and kind, especially the Vietnamese practitioners from the Czech Republic. Their dedication to preparing food for the band members and looking out for each other in every small thing touched my heart. I realise that I am the one who is self-centered, as I don’t want to run into any inconvenience. Along with cultivating traditional Chinese culture, where respect for parents and elders is a key value, I have developed a sense of honoring the elders and a willingness to take care of them. One practitioner has said to me that my facial expression is more relaxed.
I would like to quote one poem from Hong Yin, which strengthens my endurance:
Tempering One’s Heart and Will
Reaching Consummation, obtaining Buddha’s Fruit,
Eating bitterness treated as joy.
Toiling the body does not count as bitterness,
Cultivating the heart is most agonizing.
Each and every barrier must be broken through,
Here and there, demons are everywhere.
A hundred hardships falling all at once,
See how one lives.
Able to endure suffering in the world,
Transcending the world, is a Buddha.
December 17, 1976 (Hong Yin)
Attachment to money
In July 2019, the largest societal discussion festival took place in Pori, Finland, featuring numerous politicians and high-profile figures. The festival coincided with the Tian Guo Marching Band parade. Pori is around 250 km away from where I live. I decided to rent a car to drive to the festival instead of participating in the parade. The reason was that there wouldn’t be enough practitioners going there, so I thought I should be there and could also practice my driving skills.
An incident happened on my way to Pori. The car stalled when I was merging onto the highway. I got panicked as any car coming behind could crash into my car. I called the rental company to report the problem. In the end, they had to tow the car back for maintenance, so I rented another car the next day. Later, I received an invoice of €1,000 from the car rental company. The car broke down because I had put the wrong fuel in it. It was an unbelievably stupid mistake on my part.
On reflection, I must have had a loophole that the old forces used to interfere with me. I dug deeper to find out what it could be. Actually, it was the attachment to money that was used as an excuse for not joining the parade. On the surface, it seemed to be reasonable to go to Pori because it was an important event and we didn’t have enough practitioners there. However, my calculating mindset was hidden behind it. The cost of renting a car to Pori was lower than the combined cost of the flight ticket and accommodation for the parade. My heart was not aligned with the Fa principles, and I only did things superficially. Moreover, if it hadn’t been for Master’s protection, I could have even ended up in a car crash. Losing €1,000 was not a big deal.
Master said: “As Master sees it, your each and every thought, and your every single action, reveals to me what your heart is like. What I least like are those who are all talk and no action. Nor do I like those who are cunning. What I like are those who are honest and simple, sincere and down-to-earth. I also hope that you can all, after so many years of cultivating, positively grow in wisdom and not grow so much in terms of knowing how to deal with worldly matters or how to conduct yourself as a human being leading a worldly life.” (Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference)
Although I stumbled at times, thanks to Master’s guidance and protection, I have remained persistent until now. In addition, I am grateful to the fellow practitioners in the marching band for their help and support. Together, let’s improve and firmly walk the last leg of our journey.
The above represents my current level of understanding. Please point out anything incorrect compassionately.
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