Personal cultivation in the band

Dear honored Master,

Dear fellow practitioners,

I would like to share some points of my personal cultivation in the band and hope they will be useful for one or the other.

My development in the TGMB: In my early days in the band, I was extremely motivated and excited about joining parades and workshops. Though I felt like not being really socially integrated. Members had their friends and groups and didn’t seem very interested in socializing with me.

Even though I achieved the parade level within one year I thought the members would be appreciating and grateful for a new member so capable and competent like me. But some members told me my flaws, and some did in a rude way which made me feel offended. When I looked inwards, I discovered attachments to pride, appreciation and a mentality of showing off, which are somehow related to qing, in my opinion. Master Li reminds me:

“Affection among family members, love between a man and a woman, love for parents, feelings, friendship, doing things for the sake of friendship, and everything else all relate to this qing. Whether a person likes to do something or not, is happy or unhappy, loves or hates something, and everything in the entire human society comes from this qing. If this qing is not relinquished, you will be unable to cultivate. If you break free from this qing, nobody can affect you.” - Zhuan Falun, Lecture 4, Improving Xinxing

 One aspect that concerns me these days is suffering. Whenever I join parades or workshops, there are many circumstances that make me suffer physically as well as mentally. Be it uncomfortable and stressful transportation, uncomfortable beds, snoring roommates, sweating or freezing in the room or in parades, emotional discomfort related to qing. Furthermore doing the exercises makes me also feel terrible. All these things result in feeling sleepy, exhausted, mentally irritated and sometimes having headache. In addition to that, playing trombone while marching is also a great physical challenge for me.

When it comes to feeling terrible after doing the exercises, I assume that qi could be stuck somewhere in my head and that it requires a Xinxing improvement. As master says:

“In qigong practice, those of you whose qi cannot go through a pass or come down should look for reasons within your xinxing to determine if you are stuck at that level for too long and whether you should improve your xinxing! When you truly improve your xinxing, you will find that the qi will be able to come down.”

- Zhuan Falun, Lecture 6, Cultivation Insanity 

Another understanding of mine is, that besides an attachment to comfort and -of course – qing, that the hardships enable the transformation of karma into virtue.   Something I managed to improve was my attitude towards band coordinators. When I entered the band I have noticed some disrespect to some of them in my heart. I had an attitude like: “The marching band is not such a big deal. It should be easy to improve the band’s musical and the marching level.” Over the years, I got to know more members and gained an understanding of the complexity and the procedures of this project. The band includes members from various nationalities with different languages, different time management, different understandings, different musical levels, different motivation for personal improvement, etc. There are even members who are not very interested in music. When I came to understand these aspects, my heart enlarged and I gained respect towards the coordinators. Furthermore, throughout the years of my cultivation I also learned to have more respect towards people who are older than me, a respect I was lacking apparently. 

 There is another characteristic of myself that I would like to improve: my patience or tolerance with others. When we are having a tuti rehearsal, and one instrument group takes a longer time to improve according to the conductor’s instructions, I tend to get impatient and annoyed. Same happens when we are in the parade and senior members behave undisciplined in standing or marching. I think that I should improve my forbearance in these regards, as Master Li reminds me:    “Someone says, “It’s really hard to be tolerant, and I’ve got a bad temper.” If your temper is not good, you should change, for a practitioner must be tolerant. “

- Zhuan Falun, Lecture 9, People with Great Inborn Quality  

I guess it would be better to send out righteous and supportive thoughts instead of negative ones.

One topic I would like to share with you as well is about being an instrument leader. When the main coordinator asked me to be the leader of the trombone group two years ago, at first I noticed pride rise in my heart, resulting from the ego. But fortunately I quickly realized it, controlled myself and I managed to be serious about this new responsibility. Even though it requires courage for certain tasks, it helped me a lot to think more about others, improving the group as a whole as well as my discipline.

 The question of joining or not joining a parade: One reason, why I don’t join all parades is a financial one. Even if I could afford to attend all the parades, I fear that it might seem a bit extreme to ordinary people to spend thousands of euros every year on a band that, in the eyes of ordinary people, is simply advocating for human rights. Air travelling with my trombone causes extra costs as additional baggage sometimes, for example on the trip to and from London this year. In this context, I recognized an attachment to money.

I have not yet been able to let go of these two attachments: the fear of what other people might think and the attachment to money. 

 In conclusion I would like to express my deep gratitude to Master Li for guiding me, as well as the coordinators and the members for all their efforts to make this band project possible and their support in my cultivation.

Thank you, honored Master!

Thank you, fellow practitioners!

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